PART 18 There was no denying that she was beautiful...she was...but I shouldn't be thinking about her...I needed to be thinkng about Liz. Liz was my dream girl...my soul-mate...I loved her with all my heart and soul...but I found that I couldn't keep my eyes off her beautiful face...as she slept in the seat besides me...using my shoulder as a pillow. I had to concentrate...we would be landing in Roswell in just a few short hours and I had to be prepared. prepared for what...your wondering. I didn't know...but something was going to happen...I knew it...I could feel it. I didn't know all the details...all I knew that my dupe Zan had survived...he was now staying in Roswell...I didn't know why he was there...but I was damned sure going to find out. I found out about Zan from Shell...we met in the subway tunnel that Rath and Lonnie called a home. She was the one that informed me that Zan was now in Roswell...in Roswell with my Liz. When she told me...I knew that I had to leave...had to get back to Roswell...back to Liz...or it was going to be to late. Or was it already too late...I didn't know anymore. My relationship with Liz had always been so simple...well I guess that it was never really simple. The fact that I am an alien hybrid...really made it hard to have a simple anything with Liz...but I loved her. I loved her with all my heart and soul...all it took was one look and I was hers...hers forever...or so I thought. I had risked everything for Liz...my life...and the lives of Michael and Isabel the day that I saved her life. Truth is I didn't care...she was all that mattered to me...and with out her...there was no way that I could live my life. So I saved her. I used my healing powers and saved the woman that I loved from a far for so many years...and she accepted me...accepted me when I showed her who I was...and the feelings that I felt for her...because she felt them too...it didn't matter that I was different...she just wanted to love me. There was a time that I felt that our love would...suspend time...felt it would last forever. I felt it course through my veins...our love was my life line...without it I couldn't breath...couldn't live...without it I didn't want to live. But...now everything was different...she was diffrernt...I was different...so much had happened in the last few months...and I was so confused that I didn't know what to think about Liz and the love that we shared. I had never doubted the Love that Liz had for me in the past...she had proven to me time and time again just how much she loved me...I felt it through the connections that we shared...but now...now as I replayed everything that had happened lately...I found that I WAS doubting Liz...doubting Liz and the love that she had claimed to have for me. I know that you want to know why...only one real reason she betrayed our love...she betrayed me. I didn't want to belive it at first...but time after time I gave her the opportunity to explain what I had seen that night...I practically begged her to tell me the truth...because I knew there was no way that she would betray me the way that she did...but her answer always remained the same...and each time my heart broke a little more. With each answer...the numbness would set in...and then the tears...the tears...I've cried a million of them. I have cried so many tears that I didn't think I could cry anymore. It doesn't matter...the fact of the matter is...Liz Parker...my dream girl...my soul-mate...the love of my life...betrayed me...she slept with another man. I know what your thinking...if she is the love of your life...your soul-mate...your dream girl...why can't you just forgive her. Have you ever been betrayed by the woman that you loved with all your heart and soul...because she gave her self to another. NO...then please don't lecture me on how I should forgive her...I have tried...so many times I have wanted to just pull her into my arms and kiss her like she has never been kissed...tell her that I love her and that I don't care about what happened...but I can't...or atleast not yet. I don't know what is going to happen between Liz and I...but I am going to give her one more chance...one more chance to prove her love for me. I still love her...but "Are we there yet" she mumbles into my shoulder...barely opening her eyes...pulling me from my thoughts. "Not yet...go back to sleep" I whisper...placing my arm around her shoulders and pulling her against my body. She didn't hear me though...she had already fallen back to sleep. I found that I was tired...no more thoughts about betrayals...and Liz...I needed to sleep...rest up for what ever challanges that lay ahead...challanges that may or may not include Liz Parker by my side. PART 19 My head was pounding so much that I couldn't even see in front of me...but I could sense him...and he was leaving...leaving Roswell...leaving me. I couldn't understand why it was at that time that my sensations from Zan returned...but I didn't care...he was leaving me and I felt my heart break. I tried not to cry because the tears only seemed to make the pain worse...but like everything else in my life I couldn't control them...and they just kept coming. I had to go after him...had to get him back...had to make him see that I needed him. Slowly I forced myself off the bed...my body felt as if it weighed a ton...but I didn't care...I had to get to him. Taking a step forward...I felt another wave of dizziness flow over me...and again I lost my balance...but this time Ava wasn't there to catch me. I don't really remember what happened after that...the last thing I do remember is calling out his name as I felt my head hit something hard...and then the darkness came. ************************************************************ "SHUT THE FUCK UP...AVA" I screamed as I continued to drives out of Roswell...she hadn't shut the fuck up since she had gots into my ride...and I were tired of hearin her mouth. I ain't seen her do it...but I knowed she did...cause her shit ain't as strong as mines...and she ain't know how to controls them...but I hads to give her credit for trying anways. One minute we were flying downs the road...and the next we was broken downs on the sides of it. I were too busy staring at the road in front of me...the road that were takin me away from the princess...away from my princess and back to the fuckin sewers of New York. I should haves know that when she did shut the fuck up...that somethin were gonna happen...cause next things I knowed the fuckin car were dead. "YOU FUCKIN CRAZY" I screamed at her...pulling the car offs to the sides of the road. I trieds several times to start the damn thing...even used my powers...but it ain't work. I ain't wait for her to answer...I hads to leave and if I hads to fuck walk to New York...then I were gonna fuckin walk. "No...I ain't the fuckin crazy one here...Zan" she screamed back...jumpin out the car...and chasing after me. "You the fuckin crazy one if you leaves her. For as longs as I cans remember...you been talkin bout the one...the one that were gonna be the love of your life. She the one...Zan...she the one thats you been lookin for your whole lifes...you can't let her go...you needs her...you needs each other" It were true...I knowed that the one were out there and it were only gonna be a matter of times fore I found her...and things were gonna be different...I were gonna be happy for once in my life...and I were gonna do whatever I hads to do to makes her happy. Well...I founds her alright...and what did I do when I founds her...I fucked it all up. There weren't no way to fix this...I hads gones to far...No...I were doing the right thing...getting outs of her life and... "Zan" I heards her whisper. I ain't know how I heards it...but I dids and she were in trouble...the vibey things were back...and they was buzzing through my whole fuckin body...I hads to get to her...she needed me. The car were fuckin fried and even if I ran...it were gonna take to longs to get to her. I ain't know what I were gonna do and thens I saw it...a car...and whens I seen who it were drivin it...I hads to fuckin laugh. PART 20 "Ladies and Gentlemen we will be landing in Roswell in just a few moments...we here at Desert Airlines hope that you have enjoyed your flight and we hope that you will fly with us again soon..." My heart was racing...in just a few short minutes we would be landing in Roswell...and in less then an hour...I would confront Liz....in less then an hour I would know if we truly destined to be together....or destined to remain apart. I was so confused....I didn't know what to think when it came to Liz anymore. So much had happened....so much that couldn't be explained...or maybe I didn't want it to be explained. I didn't know....I loved Liz...there was no denying that plain and simple fact....but in light of all that had happened....I found that maybe I didn't love her as much as I once had. I know that sounds cruel....she made a mistake....but it wasn't like her mistake was something small....something that I could forgive her for easily and just move on. No...she slept with another man and I just didn't think that I could ever forgive her for that. But...I loved her still...and I knew that part of me always would. I know what your thinking...that doesn't make any sense...how can you love her and not love her. I don't know....but at the time I was so confused that it made perfect sense to me....at the time everything and nothing made perfect sense to me. I watched her as she continued to sleep...she looked so peaceful that I hated to wake her....I couldn't stop the smile that slowly covered my face...it was my first real smile in months...and she...not Liz was the reason for it. I guess I didn't realize that I was smiling as wide as I was...but she did....and it really must have pissed her off....because she didn't stop complaining about it....as well as everything else that was wrong with her life until we reached my house...and I would bet you a million dollars that she didn't stop then either. I didn't have time for her or her complaining...I had heard enough of it to last a life-time. I had to get to Liz...had to find out if she were going to be my destiny...or was that destiny to be found in the arms of another. ************************************************************ "I love you Zan" I whispered into his ear "I'm so glad that you waited for me...that we shared our first time together" It was the single most magical moment of my life. I Liz Parker had finally given up my virginity to my true love...and I felt wonderful. I hoped that this feeling would last forever...but it didn't....it lasted for no more then a few seconds...and then my world was shattered. "Bitch...Please. You thinks this were my first time...you fuckin crazy. This ain't been my first times...I fucked lots of women. I hads to lie to you....cause I knowed you ain't gonna give it ups to me if you thoughts I fucked other womens. Oh...and by the way...I lied to you...I ain't love you either. You was just a substitute for a real woman...you was just a substitute for Ava...my real princess. I can't believe that you thoughts I would fall for a stupid human....oh you dids...how fuckin sad" I was too stunned to move...too stunned to speak...so I just laid there. Laid there...and watched as he climbed out of the bed and got dressed...all the time whistling some tune that I couldn't make out. "Zan...please" I whispered....climbing out of the bed...and then standing before him. "I know that you love me....I felt it" "You felts what I wanted you to feels....I gots mind powers...just likes Ava. You is pathetic...gets the hell away froms me" he growled...pushing me down to the floor...then walking towards the door. Once he reached the door...I watched in horror as another figure appeared...it was a familiar figure...one that I knew...it was the figure of Max...and he was laughing. PART 21 My heart was beating so rapidly...that I felt it was going to explode right out of my chest. As I got closer and closer to the CrashDown...the worse it got. What was she I going to say when I asked her...yet again the same question that I had already asked numerous times...and could my nearly exploding heart be able to handle yet another jolt...as she repeated the same answer that it had heard her utter before. So...there I stood...below her balcony...trying to get the courage to climb her ladder...this same ladder that had brought me to Liz...so many times before...this ladder that led me to Liz when I told her that I needed to restore the balance in my life...this same ladder that led me to Liz once I realized that I loved her and that it didn't matter what was at stake...as long as we were together...and this same ladder that would now lead to me Liz...where I was to find out if that love was worth saving. Taking a deep breath...I climbed her ladder...for what might have been the last time...and once I reached the top...I stepped onto her balcony and walked to her window. If I was worried before about my heart exploding from my chest...that was one thing that I didn't have to worry about anymore...cause at that point...my heart had stopped beating...my heart had just died. As I looked through the window...the same window that I looked though that night...the same window that forced me to see...Liz and Kyle in bed together...now showed my Liz laying on the floor...a small trickle of blood running down the side of her face. "LIZ" I screamed...throwing open the window...losing my balance and falling to the floor besides her. ************************************************************ I hads to laugh when I seen who it were that were drivin the car...it were that same punk that I hads almost killed the nights before...but my laughter ain't last long. Somethin were wrong...I coulds feel it...she needed me...and I hads to get there fast...or it were going to be too lates. I trieds to stop him by standin in the middles of the roads...I sawed his eyes almost bugged outs his head when he sawed me...but he ain't stop...he just sped up and droves around me. I ain't have times for that shit...my princess were in trouble...and so were this fuckin punk...if he ain't stop. He ain't stop...so's I used my powers and mades him stop. "GET OUT" I yelled as I yanked the door opens...and pulled him froms his car...throwing hims on the ground and jumping in. He were yelling somethin...but I weren't listenin...she were the only things on my minds. "YOU CANT'S JUST LEAVE HIM THERE" Ava screamed as she jumped into the seat besides me...while I speds off. I ain't care where the hells I left him...I hads to get to Liz. "ZAN...HE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKIN DESERT...YOU CAN'TS LEAVE HIM THERE" I hads to shuts her up...so I put the car ins reverse. "GET INS" I screamed...once I reached him. "GET INS...OR I WILL LEAVES YOUR STUPID ASS RIGHT THE FUCK HERE" I screamed...as he just stoods there staring at me's like he were in a trance or somethin "I SAID GET THE FUCK IN" *********************************************************** "NO" I screamed...but they continued to laugh at me...continued to taunt me. "PLEASE...ZAN...I LOVE YOU. DON'T LEAVE ME...I NEED YOU...PLEASE YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME" But...their laughter continued. "See...I told you that she was pathetic" Max laughed...placing his arm around Zan's shoulder. "Come on Zan...let's get out of here...we have our real destinies waiting for us...I can't believe that she actually thought that either one of us could love her" and then I watched as two other figures appeared...these were figures that I knew well also...they were the figures of the two women that were taking the only two men I ever loved away from me. I didn't have to see their faces to know who they were...I knew...there were the figures Tess and Ava. "ZAN...ZAN...ZAN....DON'T LEAVE....PLEASE ZAN...ZAN...ZAN" I scremed as the scene continued to play out before me...but he didn't even acknowledge the fact that he heard me...but then again how could he have with all the laughter that surrounded him...that surrounded me...and then my world went black once again. ************************************************************ "LIZ...YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT ME...I CAN'T CONNECT WITH YOU IF YOU DON'T LOOK AT ME" I screamed...placing my hands along the sides of her face. A feeling of familiarity washed over me as I held her beautiful face in my hands...familiarity in that almost two years ago...I held the fate of Liz Parker's life in my hands...and here I was today...doing just the that same thing. Tear flooded my eyes as the girl that I loved fought yet another battle against death...another battle that was brought on because of me and who I was...another battle that she had to win...because it was at that exact moment that I realized how much I loved Liz Parker...how much I need her...how much I wanted her. I vowed that I would do what ever I had to do to make sure that she was never unhappy again...anything. She had suffered enough in her life time...and most of her suffering was all due to me...me and my insecurities...me and my uncertainties...me and my stupidity. "Please...baby...you have to open your eyes for me" I whispered against her ear...as my tears fell down my cheek...landing in her beaufitul hair. "Liz...please. I love you...you have to open your eyes" ************************************************************ He was gone...Zan...the one person that had truly brought any really happiness into my life was gone...and it was all because of me. I had pushed him away...pushed him away because I was angry...I wasn't even angry at him...I was angry at Max...angry for all the grief and hurt that he brought into my life. Zan...had made me realize that I could be happy once again...that as long as he was by my side...I would always have happiness in my life. But...he was gone...gone forever...gone forever because of me...and so I willed the blackness to take me completely...I had no reason to go back to reality...my reality was that the man that I loved with all my heart and soul was gone...and I was the only one to blame for his leaving. I could hear a voice...but I could barley make out what it was saying... the truth be told...at that time I didn't care. The darkness had once again taken over...and for once in such a long time...I felt at peace. Here in the darkness...I didn't have any worries...no weight of the world on my shoulders...no meddling destinies...no broken heart. All that I felt was the surrounding peace that flowed over me...it made me feel safe...it made me feel secure...it made me feel happy. But the voice...it continued to get louder. Whoever it was wanted to take me from the darkness...away from the peace and quiet that surrounded me. But...I fought them...for as long as I could I fought them...but it was a fight that didn't last long. I didn't have much fight left in me...these past months had worn me down...left me with nothing left to fight with...and so I let it go. First...it appeared as a small dot of light. It may have been small...but looking at it caused my eyes to water and burn. I tried to shield my eyes from it as the light continued to grow...but it was no use. As it continued to grow the brightness intensified...so much so that I could see nothing else...nothing...but the blinding light before my eyes. Slowly my vision began to clear...slowly a shape began to form in front of my eyes...slowly my reality came into focus...slowly I realized who it was that was calling me from the darkness. "Zan" I whispered. PART 22 "Just who the hell are you..." he asked while he keeped fuckin starying at me's. "and don't tell me that your Max in disguise...trying to be different. I may have bought that story the other night...but I was drunk. Now as I said before WHO THE HELL ARE YOU...AND WHY THE HELL DO YOU LOOK SO MUCH LIKE MAX EVAN'S" If he were waiting for's an answer...he were going to be waiting for a long fuckin times...but his shit were starting to gets on my nerves. I thinked that Ava knowed that I were getting pissed...cause she started answering his stupid questions...and I were glad that she dids...cause I hads more important things to worry about thens him and his fuckin questions. "He's Zan...and I's Ava" I heards Ava says to him. I were watching Ava outs the corner of my eyes....and I sawed that she were smilin so fuckin wides that I thoughts her face were gonna break in halfs...but she ain't take her eyes of this punk once...not once. I knowed what that meant...it meant that I ain't have to worry bout her and these crazy fuckin ideas she hads about us anymore. But...I hads to feel sorry for this punk...cause he ain't knowed what he were in for...now that Ava hads her eye on him. "Zan and Ava..." he keeped repeatin to hims self "and just who the hell are Zan and Ava...and why is it that you look so much like Max and Tess. Oh great...your going to kill them aren't you...your going to kill them and then your going to kill me. This is like some bad movie...where evil aliens take the form of people here on earth and then bring their whole evil army down to earth to take over. That's what you have planned don't you...your going to pose as Max and take over the earth. Damn it...I knew that being part of the I know an alien club was going to get me killed" "SHUT THE FUCK UP" I screamed...turning to face hims. "I AIN'T HERE TO TAKES OVER THE FUCKIN EARTH...I AIN'T HERE'S TO KILL MY FUCKIN DUPE AND THIS FUCKIN TESS CHICK...AND I AIN'T HERE TO KILLS YOU...BUT I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T SHUTS THE FUCK UP...I WILL." "My strenght fails...my vitality exhausted...I cannot find the bull...I an only hear the locusts chirping through the night" I ain't know what the fuck he's just said...but I looked ats Ava...and we both started fuckin laughin. I know whats your thinkin my princess were in trouble and heres I were laughin at this punk...but it were so funny. I thinks that if you's could haves seen his face...you woulds have lost it too...he looked likes he really believed what he were sayin. Buts my laughin...it ain't last long...cause as we's reached her place...I realized that she weren't hurts no more...I ain't know how...but she ain't need me anymore. ************************************************************ I studied her beautiful face...looking for a sign...any sign to let me know that my words had reached her. I was unable to breath as I waited...waited for my beautiful Liz to open her eyes...waited for the chance to make our connection...waited for her to come back into my life once and for all. It didn't matter what had happened in the past...it was just that...in the past. Once she gave me a sign...I would heal her. I would heal her and things would be different. No...we could never go back to the way things had been before...things had changed...we were both different people now...but I didn't care...I was going to do what ever it took to make sure that she was never unhappy again. Then I saw it... She opened her eyes just a bit...but it was enough. Placing my hand over her wound...I began to concentrate...concentrating on Liz...concentrating on Liz and the love that we shared. Images flashed through my mind....Images of my beautiful Liz...images of the first time I had ever laid eyes on her as a child...wearing the cupcake dress that she hated so much. Watching her from a far both at school and at the Crashdown...cause I was to afraid to talk to her...to tell her how I felt about her. The image of that fateful day replayed in my mind...the day that my world almost ended...the day that a bullet almost took the one thing that meant most to me in the universe away from me...and yet they continued...each one showing me another piece of Liz Parkers life...making me love her even more....that was until the next set of images flashed through my mind. I watched in horror as a version of me...older...dirtier...but there was no deneying that it was me...told her that she had to make me fall out of love with her...I felt her heart as it broke into a thousand pieces...and i felt my own break as I realized that this was not the first time that me...or a version of me had broken her heart. I felt her complete joyfulness as she stood on her balcany...over looking the alley below...as I sang to her...sang to her in hopes of winning her back after she returned from her trip that summer. I felt her shock as she listed to the version of me tell her about Michael and Isabel dying...all because of Tess...all because of the way I treated Tess...causing her to leave Roswell. I felt her fighting to control her anger as she spoke to Tess...trying with great difficultly to explain to her what it was that I found appealing in a woman. I felt her saddiness as she told me that she didn't want to die for me...and I felt HER complete and utter devistation as she saw the look of complete devistation that covered MY face...as I caught her in bed with Kyle...and then it was gone...the connection was gone. None...of the visions I saw made much sense to me...but it didn't matter. I knew that Liz and I had so much to discuss...but that could wait...that didn't matter then...all that mattered was that even though I didn't think it was possible...but my love for Liz Parker had grown. She hadn't betrayed me...by sleeping with Kyle. She had suffered through all of this becasue of me...but because of her love for me...because she was trying to protect me...trying to protect all of us...she gave up the one thing that meant most to her in the world...her love for me. The older version of me had placed the weight of the world literally onto her shoulders...and she took the challenge...without question she took on the challenge...and I didn't know how but I was going to make it up to her...but I was going to make it up to her or die trying. I made a vow to myself that I was never going to doubt the love that Liz and I shared between us again...but...little did I know at the time...that all that was about to change. PART 23 Slowly my vision began to clear...slowly a shape began to form in front of my eyes...slowly my reality came into focus...slowly I realized who it was that was calling me from the darkness. "Zan" I whispered. "Zan" he questioned "No...Liz..it's Max" Max...how could Max be here...it didn't make sense. Max was in New York...Max was in New York with Tess. But...Max wasn't in New York...he was here in Roswell...he was here in my room...he was here with me. I felt his arms pull me from the floor....arms that wound tightly around my body...arms that pulled me tightly against his body...arms that I thought that I would never feel again. But something was wrong with these arms...because these arms didn't belong to Zan....and oh how I wanted them to belong to Zan. I felt his tears as they dripped off his cheek...landing in my hair....I felt his whole body begin to shudder...as his tears rolled into sobs...causing him to pull me tighter against his body. I felt his anguish as he held me against his body....slowly rocking back and forth....rocking back and forth as I felt his lips moving against my hair...speaking words that I knew he was saying from the heart. How did I know...because with each sob that escaped his lips...each word that he whispered into my hair...I felt him pull me closer to himself. He acted as if he couldn't get close enough....I felt that he wanted to get inside of me....I felt as if he were trying to make up for time that was lost...time that could never be replaced. I tried...tried to listen to his words...tried to feel something...anything for Max...but as hard as I tried...I found that I felt nothing...nothing except for the sadness that enveloped me...sadness that now covered me like a blanket...but it brought me no warmth...it brought to me only coldness. Zan was gone....gone from Roswell....gone from my life...and all because of me. Tears like I never cried before flooded my eyes....tears that caused my eyes to burn and sting...but it was nothing like the stinging that I felt in my heart...as reality once again crashed over me. I was the reason that he left....I was the one that said those horrible words...I was the one that caused the hurt to flicker across his eyes as I spoke those horrible words....and now I was the one that was going to have to deal with the repercussions of those horrible words. ************************************************************ She weren't hurts no more. I ain't feels her pains anymore...and I knowed that she ain't need me anymore. So I started to leaves again. My brain were telling me's to leaves Roswell....leaves her alone....she were better off withouts me...but my hearts were telling me different. It were telling me thats I needed to stay...stays and works things out with my princess. I ain't knowed which ones to listen too...I ain't wants to leave....she were here and I wanted to be's with her always...but I ain't wants to stay either...I had hurts her....and I knowed that she were never going to forgives me for hurting her. Walking backs to the car...I founds Ava and the punk stills talkin...bout what I ain't know. But...I knowed it hads to be bout me and Liz...cause he gaves me a look that tolds me that he understoods...understoods what I were going through. We just stoods there...no one's saids a word...until the punk spokes. "Look....Zan...I don't know you...all I know is what Ava here has told me...but I can see that you care for her...you may even love her. But...Max and Liz...they have this connection like none I have ever seen. It's like they can feel each other...it's like they can see into each others souls. I can understand what you feeling....trust me...I have traveled this same path before...but...for Liz it will always be him....it will always be Max that she chooses" I were fuckin speechless...but I knowed what he sayed were true...I knowed...I knowed it and my brain knowed it...but my hearts...that were a different story. My hearts hads to knows for sure...hads to see it for its self...fore it woulds allow me to leaves her for goods...and fore I knowed it I were running again...but...this times I weren't running aways...I were running to hers. ************************************************************ I felt a chill run down my spine as she called out his name...causing my body to shudder. I didn't know why...but something about the way that she whispered his name chilled me to my very core. But...I pushed it away...pushed it to the back of my mind...because...she was back in my arms. My beautiful Liz...was back in my arms...back where she belonged. I tried to hold them in...tried not to let them fall...but they came...the tears...tears that turned into sobs...that racked my whole body. She wasn't close enough...I needed to feel her closer...I needed to feel her inside of me...needed her to rid me of this chill that was working it way throughout my body. I tried to stop the tears that flowed down my cheek...onto her beautiful hair...but I couldn't...too much had happened these last few months...too much that I had held inside...too much that I wasn't able to share with the one person that I had always been able to go to...Liz. But...as I held her....held her in my arms...held her against my body...I decided to let them flow...because as each tears fell from my eyes...it took some of the sadness and loneness along with it. "I love you Liz...always" I whispered into her hair...pulling herself closer to me...yet again. "Can you ever forgive me...for...for not trusting you...for not believing in the love that we share. Please...Liz...know that I love you and that I will do whatever it takes to make this right....anything to make you believe in me again. I'm so sorry Liz....I love you" I felt as if I couldn't say it enough...she had to know...and so I kept repeating it over and over into her hair. Looking back now....I thought that I was trying to convince her that I loved her...but maybe I was just trying to convince myself. "I love you Liz....I love you....I love you....I love you....please....please tell me that you love me...I need to hear you say that you love me...Liz" ************************************************************ He wanted me to tell him that I loved him....I did love him...I had loved him for such a long time...but it wasn't the same...it would never be the same. The love that I once felt for Max had changed...it was different....I was different. I wasn't the same Liz Parker that Max Evan's once loved...I had grown over these last few months...I had matured...I had become a woman. I had the weight of the world placed on my shoulders...and I did what had to be done to make sure that what Future Max had told me about the end of the world...didn't happen. I had to sacrifice what I thought was the one true love of my life to ensure that Michael, Isabel and yes...even Tess would live...live to prevent his future from being repeated. Yes...I loved Max Evan's but it wasn't like the love that I felt for another...it wasn't like the love that I felt for Zan. I had to find him...had to make him see that I loved him...that I never meant any of those horrible words...had to make him believe that it was him...not Max that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Now...I had to make Max see that even though I loved him...we could never have what we once had. "Max" I whispered as he continued to whisper his oaths of love into my hair. "Max...I Love you...but...." I could sense him...he was nearby....he was here....he was standing behind me. "Zan" I whispered..turning to look behind me...as Max continued to surrond my body with his arms.