PART 30


"He's gone" I wailed into my best friends ear....tightening my grip around her. "He's gone...He's gone...He's gone" I kept hearing it repeated over and over again...and I didn't know if I was actually saying those words or if I was hearing them in my mind. It really didn't matter...all that mattered was that Zan was gone. He had left Roswell...he had left because I was to stupid to fight for him...to stupid to prove to him that I loved him. I didn't know how I was going to live the rest of my life without Zan by my side. I know that sounds pathetic...but....I needed him there...I wanted him there. I just didn't think that it was possible to live through the loss again. How was it possible that I could live through another heartbreak...when I had lived through so many before. I thought that my would had ended when I had to give up Max...but giving up Max was to keep him and the others safe...to keep his planet and earth safe. I gave up Zan...because I wasn't willing to fight for him. I had done the same thing that Max had done to me...I stopped believing in our love...said mean and hurtful words...and just let the one that I loved walk away without a fight.

I could hear them murmuring around me...but I didn't care...all I kept thinking about the mess that my life had become. My life had always been full of such promise. I had a goal...I had a plan...and I was determined to reach all those goals that I had set ahead of me...but then fate stepped in and changed all that. How had my life become the mess that it now was...how had I allowed this to happen...I wanted to blame Max...blame him for everything that had gone wrong in my life..he was the one that saved me...I didn't ask to be saved...I didn't ask for all this pain and suffering. When had I become the chosen one to not have love in my life. Was this my penance for having Max Evan's save my life. Was I doomed to find love and lose it just as quickly as I had found it. First with Max...and now with Zan. But...how could I blame Max...he saved me because of his love for me...he couldn't help who he was and the life that he had to lead...and I know that a lot of the pain and suffering that I have experienced was because of me. I had accepted the fact that Max and I were not meant to be together...and then I met Zan...and I fell in love all over again...only to have it disappear before my eyes...by my own stupidity. Zan...just what was it about him...how was it that he just walked into my life...and I had fallen head over heels in love with him in just a matter of seconds...maybe even before. What sense did that make...not that anything since Max had healed me had made much sense anyway. How was it that I felt as if we somehow meant to be together....that he was sent here for a reason. But...what reason could that be...what ever it was I had ruined it...I had been given a second chance at love...only to destroy it.

I felt a pair of arms pulling me out of the chair that I had fallen into. "Zan" I questioned...only to have my heart fall...as I looked into a pair of blue eyes...not hazel like Zans. "Come on...we need to get you back upstairs...you've had quite a day...you need some rest and we can talk about it in the morning" Kyle said...carrying me up the stairs that lead back to my room...the room that Max had caught me and Kyle in bed together...the same room that Max gave his pocket knife back...the same room that I had cried all my many tears for the loss of Max's love...the same room that Zan and I had shared our first kiss...the room that we had explored each others bodies in...the room that Zan and I had said such hurtful things to each other...the room that Max had said hurtful words to me...the same room that Zan once occupied...telling me to go after Max...was now the same room that was like a tomb to me...I felt that this was the room that I was going to die in...the same room that I had already died in. I didn't want to go back into that room...it was a painful reminder of everything that was wrong in my life..but...I didn't try and stop Kyle. I didn't have the energy...didn't have anymore fight...I was exhausted. All I could do was lay limply in his arms...my head laying on his shoulder...as he made his way to that dreaded room.


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"YOU BETTER TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON...AND YOU BETTER TELL ME NOW" she screamed...causing me to bolt out of my bed...trying to figure out where I was...what was going on...and who it was exactly that was screaming at me like that. "LOOKS YOU BETTER BACKS OFF...HE DON'T NEEDS YOUR SHIT RIGHT NOWS" Another voice from behind me yelled back. "AND JUST WHO THE HELL ARE YOU...MAX IS MY BROTHER...I THINK THAT I KNOW WHAT HE NEEDS MORE THEN SOME GUTTER TRASH FROM NEW YORK"

I was still trying to figure out what the hell was going on around me...as I felt someone brush past me...pushing Isabel into the chair that was behind her. "I AIN'T NO GUTTER TRASH...YOU HEARS ME...I IS HEARS CAUSE ZAN ASKED ME'S TO TAKES CARE OF YOUR BROTHER..GOT IT...AND I GAVES HIM MY WORD...AND I AIN'T NEVER BACKS DOWN ON MY WORD"

"Isabel..please...I need time to think....I need to be alone right now...please just go" I said...coming to my senses. "Please...I will explain everything to you once I figure it out myself" I watched the anger that covered her face....turn to a look of hurt. "Please..Is...I'm not trying to hurt your feelings...I just need to work things out in my head" I could see the tears as they formed in her eyes...as she sadly nodded her head and got up from the chair and headed for the door. "Is...wait" I said....grabbing her arm and pulling her into my embrace. "I love you...Is...remember that...your my sister...and I will always love you" Nodding again...she wiped the tears from her eyes...and with one last look at me...closed the door...leaving me with my thoughts...and the only thoughts I had at that moment were climbing back into my safe place...climbing back into my haven...climbing back into Shell's arms. "It's oks...come ons...you needs to talks about whats goin on withs you...and I ams the person to listen...don't matters...comes ons" It was like she knew what I was thinking...it was like she knew that she was my shelter...and so I climbed back into her arms...allowing the words to flow from my lips...allowing the tears to fall once again...as I told her every heart wrenching event that lead up to this very moment. She never said a word...never made a judgment...she just listened...she was just there...and that is what I needed more then anything else at that time...I needed someone to be there for me...not anyone else but for me.


PART 31


I were running like my lives depended on its...and in a ways it dids...cause she were my lives. I needed to haves her by my sides...needed to have her in orders to breath. I couldn't believes how much shit hads happened in these last few days...how much I hads hurt and how much she had hurts me. But...I was gonna fix that...we wasn't gonna hurts no more...we were gonna be's together forever. I were gonna do whats ever I hads to do...be who ever I hads to be....to makes sure thats she were by my sides. There weren't no ways that we was every gonna be aparts again...and if that ments pretending to be's someone's else...then that were what I were gonna do.

I knows what you is thinking...how cans you do this...how cans you loves her and pretends to be someone's else. Easy....I hads to do what I hads to do. Anways...what woulds you have dones...if you loved someone's so badly that you couldn't imagines your life withouts them...what woulds you do...if the loves of your lifes loved someone's else...but thats someone didn't wants them in returns...calls me crazy...but....wouldn't you's do anything's that were in your powers to be withs them. I knows that we ain't thats much different...I knows that you woulds...and if you wouldn't...then you just ain't gots a soul.

I loved hers...there were no denying its anymore....I had trieds...trieds to leave hers....tried to moves on with my lifes and lets her moves on with hers...but I weren't able too...something's were calling me backs....and that something were her. I ain't care who's I hads to be...what I hads to do...I were never gonna leaves her sides again...and that's were a promise that I mades to myselfs...and I were damned sure thats it were gonna be a promise that I were gonna keeps. I were as if I hads to be withs her...couldn't lives withouts her...didn't wants to lives withouts her.

But...I knowed that that it weren't me that she loved...that it were my dupe that gots that honor....but I ain't care. He ain't loves her...he didn't wants her...he mades that point perfectly clears to me...ands if he's decided to change his minds...too fuckin bad...she were gonna be mines...mines only. Yes...I hads a plan...and it were gonna be a very goods plan....it were such a goods plan thats it were gonna keeps me and my princess togethers...forevers. You is dying to knows....well if you ain't figured it outs by now...you is pretty stupid. I were gonna change....I were gonna change myselfs into my dupe...I were gonna becomes Max Evan's.

Yes....you heards me right...I were gonna become the man that I fuckin despised most ins my life. Does this shows you how important Liz Parker were to me's....does this proves to you that what I were doing were the right things to do...for boths of us. I knows that you thinks I am being selfish...thats I were only thinking of me. I weren't...I were thinkin of her too. I loved her's with everything's I hads...with everything's I were. She may not haves loved me backs....she may haves loved my dupe...but you is forgetting one importants thing...the most importants thing...he ain't wants her anymore. He thoughts that me and Liz hads done more thens we hads...and I had tried to tells him...but he weren't willings to listen. I hads given hims plenty of opportunity to runs back to her...to makes things rights with her...but he weren't listening...he were to set in his minds that she had dones things that she weren't capable of doing. I knowed that she ain't sleep withs Kyle...and she may haves messed arounds with me...but it were because I looks so much likes my dupe...and she were lonely...I cant's blame her for that. Do it hurts...remember...I is part human and it hurts like hell. But..this were gonna helps with that hurt...she may nots love Zan...but it were me that she were gonna be withs for the rests of hers lifes....sorta.

I kinda gots aways from my plan...I were gonna change into my dupe...and thens I were gonna ask hers to runs aways with me. There were no ways that we was gonna be ables to stay in Roswell. Why...for starters...Max Evan's lived here....and his family and his friends. How were I gonna explains when they founds that there was two of us...no...we hads to go. I may haves had a plan...but thats plan didn't include were we was gonna go. But...it ain't matters where we went...all thats mattered thats were was gonna be together. I coulds live anywhere...do's anything's as longs as she was by my sides. I knowed that she were gonna comes with me...I knowed cause she were better thens Roswell New Mexico...she deserved betters then Max Evan's. I were gonna gives here anything's that she wanted...anything's that she needed...at whats ever costs. Thinkin bout starting a new lifes withs my princess broughts a smile to my face. So withs one swipe of my hands...I becames different...I becames the one man that I despised most in this fuckin worlds...I became my dupe...I became the love of her Lives...I becames....Maxwell Evans.

What's were it likes being Max Evan's...well to says that it were strange...that were an understatements. I were differents all right...my hair were now flats as hell...my goatee...gone. I ain't really care abouts the loss of my hair and goatee...but...I were gonna miss my tattoos and my piercings. They was me...they sets me aparts from the Max Evan's of the worlds. I knowed that this guy would nevers gets anythings like that...he were to fuckin cornball...he were to fuckin...well...Max Evan's. Zan were no more...I hads said that I wanted to be differents...but I ain't nver thought in a million years thats it would comes to something likes this. But...it were gonna be worths it...because me ands my princess were gonna be together...forever.


PART 32



"Kyle...can you just stay with me tonight" I begged him...digging my fingers into his shoulder...causing him to yelp from the pain...as he tried to lay me on the bed. "Please...I just can't be alone tonight...I just can't"

The truth was...that I couldn't bare the thought of being alone...I was afraid...afraid because I didn't know who much more I could stand...afraid...because I didn't know what I might be capable of. I know what your thinking...is she talking about what I think she is talking about. Yes...that is what I am talking about...I had been through to much in the last year...I had seen to much...learned to much...hurt the ones that I loved to much...suffered to much...cried to much. I didn't want to hurt anymore...didn't want to feel the pain of my broken heart anymore. I just wanted to feel anything but the pain that cloaked my heart. I wanted to feel happiness...and since Zan was the only one that could bring any happiness into my life..and he was gone...I wanted to go to the one place were I felt content without Zan...I wanted to go into the darkness...the same place that I was after hitting my head and knocking myself unconscious.

I was afraid of dying...who wouldn't be..but at that moment in time I felt like I had no other choice. I felt as if I had lost everyone that was close to me. I had lost Max...lost everything that we shared. I had hurt him when I faked sleeping with Kyle. I knew that it had to be done...that it would prevent the end of the world...but it didn't change the fact that I had lied to him...that I had hurt him...and it was because of those reasons alone...I had lost him. Losing Max was painful...but it was nothing compared to the pain of losing Zan. He just breezed into my once pain filled life and for a brief moment...replaced that pain with happiness. He made me realize that it was possible to love after losing Max. I loved Zan...loved him more then I could every love Max...loved him more then I could ever love anyone....but now he was gone. I had hurt him...I had hurt them both...I had lost them both...and I just didn't think that it was possible to live without them as part of my life...it just wasn't possible to live without Zan as part of my life.

I watched the range of emotions that crossed Kyle's face...as I again asked him to stay with me. I watched as his blue eyes bore into my own chocolate ones...searching for what it was I was trying to convey to him...without words. I watched as his face took on a look of uncertainty as he continued to probe me with his eyes...watched as the look of uncertainly turned to one of shock and horror....and then I watched as the look of shock and horror turned into one of fear. Fear...because he knew...he had figured out why it was that I had wanted him to stay with me so badly. He knew that I was tired of being lonely...tired of hurting...knew that I felt as if I were at the end of my rope...knew that I was ready to end it all...he knew that I was ready to end my life. Yes...he knew...how could he not...it was so obvious...he could see it through my eyes...but it was also written all over my face. I was no longer Elizabeth Parker...that person no longer existed...all that was left of that person was what Kyle held in his arms...all that was left was a shell of this person...and in my mind...I knew that there was nothing that would ever bring this person to her former self. Nothing....except for Zan.

Yes...it was obvious that Kyle knew what I was feeling...as I felt his grip around my body tighten...as I felt him pull me closer to himself...as I heard an anguished sob escape from his lips...as he whispered into my hair. "What have they done to you...Liz...oh my god...what could they have done to you to make you even consider what you are considering. Why didn't I know that you were hurting this much...why did I let you go through this suffering alone...why wasn't I there for you when you needed me. This is all because of Evan's isn't it....what did he do to you....why did you have to make it look like you and I slept together...why did I let it get this far...I should have told him...should have told him the truth...but you asked me not too...but if I had told him you wouldn't be...wouldn't be considering this...Liz...why did you have to be the brave one and handle this all alone. I'm sorry Liz...I am so sorry that I let you down...can you forgive me...please tell me that you can forgive me"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing...here was Kyle...the one man that had been there for me through all of this mess my life had become...and here he stood before me trying to take the blame for it. "No...this isn't your fault...it's not anyone's fault...I am just tired Kyle...tired of everything that I have had to endure this last year. I am tired of the lies...and the secrets...and I am just tired of feeling as if my heart will never stop breaking...asif my tears will never stop falling. You have been there for me whenever I have needed you...even after all the lies and the hurt that I have caused you...you stood by me without question. I am so sorry...sorry that I made you feel as if you were to blame...if it hadn't been for you...I may have decided to do this sooner. I am just so tired...Kyle...can you understand that...I don't want to feel this way anymore. I just want it to end...is that so much to ask for...I just want to feel nothing for a change...I need to feel nothing"

"NO" he yelled...placing me roughly on the ground in front to him...forcing me to once again look into his blue eyes. "I won't let you do this...I can't...I could never live with myself if anything happened to you...together we can get through this. I won't leave your side...I promise...I know that your hurting...I may not know why you lied to Max...but I know that you had to do it for a reason. I know that you love him...but...you don't need him. I know that it will be hard...but you will get over him...you can live without him. I need you to tell me that you understand what I am trying to say to you...I will not let you kill yourself over Max Evan's...I won't let you do it Liz. He isn't worth dying for....he isn't worth ending your life...and I pledge to you right now...I will be here for you always. Tell me that you understand what I am saying to you...tell me" he continued to yell...as the look of fear that once crossed his eyes...turned into a look of determination. I found myself unable to speak yet again...as he pulled me into his arms. "Promise me...that you won't do it...please you have to promise me that you won't end your life because of Max Evan's"

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I know what your thinking...you told her everything...you told a stranger all about you and your alien status...a person that you have only known since your trip to New York...a person that you met only because of Zan. No...I'm Max Evans keeper of secrets. I know how to keep a secret...and I made sure to leave out the fact that I am "not of this earth" Keeping secrets was something that I was good at...and this was no exception. But...I had to talk to someone...had to release this pain that filled my entire existence off my chest...and so I told her...leaving out the important parts...the parts that lead to the disaster that my life had become. She listened to every last word that I spoke...listened and didn't utter a sound...allowing me to cry...allowing me to rant...allowing me to heal.

What I found amazing is that...I knew that even if I had told her...she wouldn't have cared. I knew that she wouldn't run into the night screaming like most people would. No...I didn't think that she was one of us...that she was alien...it was just something that I felt...it were something that I knew. I felt that she knew that I was omitting certain facts about my life and who I was...but she never wavered in her listening...as she continued to rub my back...as she continued to comfort me with the warmth that came off of her body. So...there I lay in the arms of this complete stranger...a stranger that I had only known for a few days...but now it felt that I had known my entire life...telling her about my life...and most of what had transpired between me and Liz.

I told her of the first time I ever laid eyes on Liz...I told her of the love that I felt for Liz...how I had known from that first moment I saw her that she would be the one...the one that I would loved for eternity. I sobbed as I told her of all the heartache and pain that Liz had to endure because of me...and me alone...heartache that would never have entered her life...if she hadn't fallen in love with me. I told her about the first kiss that we had shared on her balcony...how I didn't think that it was possible for anyone to love me as completly as she did. I wanted to tell her about destiny...about how just that one little word...had ripped our love into shreds...tearing it into such little pieces...that it was hardly recognizable...causing Liz to run into the arms of another man.

But...I left that part out...Oh...I told her about finding her and Kyle in bed together...and the pain and anguish that it caused me...but I left out the most important part...the part where she ended up in bed with him because of me. I told her about finding her on the floor unconscious...and how my heart literally stopped beating...becasue I thought I may have lost her once and for all...and how it started beating again...only after I knew for certain that hers continued to beat also. I told her of the first time I had met Zan...and the madness that engulfed my body as I realized that I had indeed lost Liz...although not to death...I had lost her to Zan. I told her of the horrible words than I had spit out at her...and the physical pain I caused as my madness continued to run rampet...trying to squeeze the life out of the woman that I loved with all my heart and soul. I told her of my second confrontation with Zan...as he beat my head against the wall...and dragged me to the park...and all the nasty words that I had said to him about Liz...the same Liz that he now loved as much as I did...the same Liz that he could make happy...and I couldn't.

My sobs turned almost uncontroable...as I continued my story. I told her of my absolute horror ...as I had left Zan after our third confrontation...realizing that Liz had not betrayed me...that she had never slept with Kyle...she could never do that to me...she could never do that to herself. Again...leaving out the important parts...I continued to wail...as I explained that I now knew that she had made it look like she had betrayed me for a reason...a very important reason. I explained to her...how important it was to have Liz Parker in my life...that she was my balance...she was the one that kept me sane...most times...but how I didn't think that it was possible to repair all the damage that I had done to her. I knew that as we spoke she was laying in his arms...the arms of the man that she needed...the arms of the man that was going to take care of her and keep her safe....the arms of the man that she loved...the arms of Zan.

Once again...I felt exhaustion take over my body. Sleep was beginning to take over my wearily body...and I was to tired to fight it...and so I allowed it to come...allowed it to block out the world that I no longer wanted to be a part of...allowed it to envelope me into it's blackness. "You needs to talk to hers" she whispered against my ear...jolting me from the brink of slumber that I craved so badly. "You needs to do this...you needs to works this out withs her...you needs to do its...now"


PART 33


So...there I were...Zan...no check that...Max...standing in the alley behinds the place that her moms and pops owned. My whole lifes were about to change...but I as I tolds you before...I ain't cares. If it meants that I were gonna gets to holds her in my arms again...if I were gonna feels her body against mines...as I helds her....if I were gonna kiss those lips...those soft beautiful lips...once agains. I ain't care that I were the fuckin cornball kings of the worlds...I were gonna be the cornball kings of the fuckin worlds...with my princess by my sides. You would thinks that I woulds be upsets about losing myselfs...but she were worths it....she were more then worths it.

It were getting light now...I knowed that I ain't I have much time to sets my plan into action. My plan thats included me being...Max Evan's....and running away withs my princess. I wanted to be outs of Roswell befores anyone realized thats she were missing. We was gonna goes so deep under grounds...that no ones were ever gonna finds us. It were just gonna be me and hers...and that were all thats I needed.

A smiles were covering my face as I walked into the place...I weren'ts thinking bouts anything else...anythings else but my princess...and the new lifes that we was gonna starts. Yeah...I were smiling...and that smile were wiped offs just as quicklys as I had puts it there. Why...you wants to know...it were her...I ain'ts seen her since Liz hads sent her aways that first day that I had comes into towns...and I hads hoped nots to see her again...but there she were...Lungs...and I coulds tells by the looks on her face that she weren't happy. "SO...the prodigal son returns. So Maxie boy have you come to fix the damage that you have caused her...have you come to repair the heart that you have broken on more then one occasion...I sure hope that your coming to do that...if you know what is good for you...you had better be coming her to do just that" I just nodded...I were to afraids to speak...I were afraids that she were gonna knows that it were me and not Max that were standing in fronts of her. "What's the matter...cats got your tongue...or is it that you know that the way that you have been treating her is wrong...what is it Maxie boy...huh. Do you realize how much she is hurting...how much she is hurting because of you...and lets not forget all of her pain...pain that is there because of...gee lets see...YOU"

She hadn't taken one breathes...as she continued to yells at me...and I knowed that she weren'ts dones with me yet. I ain'ts want to listen to whats she hads to say...alls I wanted to do were get to my princess...and kiss the shit outs of her. But..that were gonna haves to wait...cause she weren't through withs me yet...by no means were she through withs me yet. Grabbing the fronts of my shirts...she pulled me downs to her eye level...pulled me downs choking me ins the process...but she ain't notice...she were ons a mission...she were watching her girls back...and I just hads to respects her for that. "You listen to me...and you listen to me good...you..." and then she stopped. She were looking ats me...it were likes she were studying me...causing my hearts to stop. I knowed that my cover were blown...that she knowed who I were...and the chance for getting with my princess...were gone. "I don't know what it is about you...but for some strange reason...she loves you. You better fix this...you better fix her broken heart...and spend the rest of your life making it up to her. I mean what I am saying to you...you better make this better...because if you don't...well...lets just put it this way...I think that you would rather deal with a whole army of skins...then deal with a pissed off Delucca...got it" She continued...releasing the grips that she hads on my shirt.

"Oh...one more thing" She said...placing her lips inches from my ear. "Your not fooling me one bit with this transformation of yours...Zan. Your better take care of her...you better love her with all that you are...or you will have to deal with me...that is a promise that I will make to you...and you can best bet that it is one that I will keep"



How was I going to tell Kyle that Max wasn't the only reason that I felt my world was ending...that it was a combination of everything...Destiny...Future Max...the end of the world...and Zan. How could I explain that I fell in love with a man that I hardly knew...that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man...and that if we couldn't be together...there was no way that I could face what ever life would throw at me without him. How could I explain that without Zan...I didn't feel whole...that I felt as if a piece of myself was missing...that the most important piece of my self was missing...that my heart was missing. I wanted to tell him...wanted to tell him everything that had led up to his very moment...but I couldn't...all I could force out was one word... the one word that summed up my reason for wanting to leave this pain and heartache...."Gone"

"This doesn't just have to do with Evan's does it" he questions me...as he pried my fingers from his shoulders and forced me to lay on the bed. "No" my voice broke as I tried to speak. "I love him...Kyle...I love him...and I told him that I didn't...it is my fault...I made him leave...it's my fault that he left me"

"Shhh...I can't say that I understand any of this...Liz...but I am here...and I am willing to listen for as long as it takes" he whispered....laying on the bed besides me...pulling me into his arms...allowing me the release that I so desperately needed...allowing me to cry...allowing me to rant...allowing me to scream...allowing me to do what ever it was that I needed to do to release the anguish that had tried to move into my heart permanently. I never knew that Kyle could be this understanding...could be this loving. This wasn't the same Kyle Valenti that I had gone out with for a short time last year...this was a new Kyle...he had told me when Future Max had visited me...that he had found Buddha. I remember thinking that Kyle had lost him mind...but now I found that couldn't help but praise Buddha...praise him for bringing this new Kyle to me...for changing Kyle into this new man...this new man that just might be my salvation after all.

I had to admit that I felt better after I told Kyle everything. He never said a word the whole time...he just listened...allowing me to soak his shirt with my tears...to possibly have burst his ear drums with my rants...and the promise of bruises on his chest...as I pounded my frustration out on him. Not once did he try to stop me...not once did he flinch...he just held me in his arms and listened. "Thank you...Thank you for this...I needed this...so badly"

"Hey...Kyle Valenti at your service...madam" he chuckled into my ear...sensing that the mood was too somber...to heavy...sensing that I needed to laugh. "You know...I seem to be getting you into this bed more now...then I did when we were dating. I couldn't get you anywhere near a bed when we were together...and now...well...just what is the deal with that Parker...it's like I can get you into bed...without all the added perks...what are you trying to do ruin my reputation...we can't have that now"

"KYLE..." I giggled...through my tears...pushing myself out of his embrace. "Oh...no you don't he laughed...as I tried to move as far away from him as possible...laughing as I did. Before I had a chance to move another inch...he was all over me...he was attacking me...attacking me with tickles. "TIME FOR THE TICKLE MONSTER" he yelled grabbing me and attacking my sides...with such fury...that I couldn't help the shrieks of giggles and laughter that erupted from my lips...laughter that I didn't think was possible after the hell that I had been going through these last few months...but more so these last few days. "KYLE...STOP...PLEASE....YOU HAVE TO STOP....OMG....KYLE PLEASE....STOP" I continued to shriek...as he continued his attack on my extremely ticklish sides.

"Yes...Kyle...stop it" I heard a voice say...causing both Kyle and myself to stop our fun...causing us both to pull apart from each other with such force that Kyle lost his balance...and landed with a thud on the floor at the voices feet. "Man....why does this keep happening to me" I heard Kyle grunt as he lifted himself off the floor...coming face to face with the man that had caught us in this very same bed...just days before.


PART 34


I felt my body tense...as her words hit me. I felt the blood in my veins run cold....felt my heart freeze in my chest. "You can't be serious" I choked out...pulling away from the warmth of her body...and looking directly into her eyes. I knew that once I looked into those eyes of hers I would find a hint of laughter...anything to prove to me that I hadn't heard her correctly...that she was in fact joking...that she didn't just tell me that I had to go an talk to Liz Parker...the one person that I hoped to never have to talk to again. But...her eyes told me no such thing...what they did tell me...was that she was serious about what she had said...that she had meant every word...that she wanted me to go and speak to Liz. "You needs to do this...you needs to work things out withs her. You ain't never gonna be happy...untils you work things outs with her...you knows this is true"

"Your crazy" I yelled...completely removing myself from her arms...and pulling my exhausted body off the bed. "There is no way in hell that I am going back to the CrashDown...ever. How can you say that I have to go and talk to her...after all that I have told you...after all that I have said and done to her...and you want me to try and talk to her and work things out" There was no way that I was going anywhere near Liz Parker. How could I...how could I face the woman that I loved more then anything...the woman that I had lied to...the woman that I had hurt...the woman that I had said such horrible things to. The truth of the matter was...I was petrified...scared shitless...afraid to come face to face with her. what could I say to her that would make up for the mess that I had turned our love into...what could I ever do to make up for all the hurtful things that I had said to her. Nothing...there wasn't a damn thing that I could do or say to make up for all that I had done to her. I was a coward...a wimp...hell...I was a chicken...there was no way that I was going to even attempt to try and make things right between us. Plus...not only would I have to deal with Liz and what her reaction might be at seeing me so soon after my melt down...I would have the added pleasure of dealing with her new love...and since I knew what he was capable of...there was definitely no way that I was going to go over there now.

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I knowed that I hads a reason to be pissed...hads a reason to wants to kills there man that were pulling himselfs off the floor...until he were standin in fronts of me. I should haves wanted to fors the ways that I had founds him alls over my princess...buts I couldn't...there were no ways that I coulds be mad ats him. Why...how coulds I wants to hurts this punk...whens he were the only ones that were able to makes my princess laughs...after alls the shit that me and my dupe had puts her through...he were still able to makes her laugh...and I thinks that I haves tolds you this a few times....buts I loves to hear her laughs. "Look man..." he saids to me...pullings me outs of my thoughts of her laughing. "This isn't what it looks like...but...your going to believe what ever you want to believe...so there really isn't anything that I can say to make you see that this was nothing but Liz and I having a little fun...I mean...we were just...hell...just go ahead and do what you need to do. But...I will tell you this...you can kick my ass...you can kill my ass...I don't care...but if you so much as hurt one hair on her head...I will fuckin kill you...do you hear me Evan's...kill you"

This punk were just to fuckin funny to be reals. I couldn't helps the small grins that cames to my face...it mades me happy to knows that my princess hads such good friends watchin her backs. My grins...it disappeared quicks though...as a twinge of guilt's passed overs me...knowing thats I were gonna be takin her aways from her friends and families...her home. But...I pushed it aways befores it mades me change my minds. I had comes here withs a plan...I hads to follow through withs it...it were a matter of lives and death...more likes it were a matter of my deaths...cause withouts her by my sides...I knowed that I weren'ts gonna be able to lives. I would haves to deal with this later...cause all that mattered at that times...were getting that plans into motions.

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Zan...I couldn't help myself from envying him. I didn't know that whole story...and I probably never would...but he now had the love of the one woman that I thought would be by my side as I became the king that I was destined to be...he had the love of the woman that I had risked exposing Michael, Isabel. and myself to the world for ...as I used my powers to save her life...he had the love of a woman that had risked her own life time and time again to keep our secret safe...he had the love of the one woman that...although...I knew that she no longer returned that love to me...I knew I was going to love for the rest of my life. I needed to leave this room...needed to run...needed to climb a mountain...anything to get rid of this nervous energy...anything...but stay in this room. I felt as if every nerve in my body was taunt like a guitar string...and any little thing might cause me to crack. My exhaustion...gone. I began to nervously pace the length of my room....back and forth....back and forth...back and forth. I may have needed to leave...but as my panic grew...so did my fear of leaving this same room. What if she was out there...what if I ran into them on the streets...what would I say...what would she say...what would he do. I was afraid...afraid of what this man might do to me....twice that evening he had the opportunity to end my life...twice he was given the chance to get rid of the one person that had hurt the woman that he loved...twice he had been given the chance to kill the true king of an alien planet...and yet here I was pacing this room...alive. Alive or not...there was no way that I was going to give Zan another opportunity to end my life again. Liz Parker may have been the love of my life...but there was no way that I was going to die for her...it was hopeless anyway...she would never forgive me...and why should I meet my possible death...if nothing good was going to come out of it.

I guess that I must have been so deep into my thoughts...that I didn't hear her speaking to me...all I felt was a sharp smack across the right side of my face...and my head jerking to the side because of it. "You listens to me ands you listens to me good...you gets your ass over there's and works this shit outs with hers. I ain't kidding...you is goin if I have to drags you there's myself kickin and screamin....you got me" As she stood in front of me and chewed me out...the only thing that I could think of at that particular time...was not Liz Parker and her new love...no...the only thing that I could think of was how much I wanted to kiss her...how much I wanted to kiss...Shell. Call me shallow...call me a pig...I've been called worse...but it was true...I had to actually take a step back from her to keep myself from grabbing her...pulling her to me...and kissing her senseless. "Nows...that I haves your attentions...lets goes over what it is you is gonna says"

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You is...Max Evan's...you is...Max Evan's...I keeped repeating to myselfs. I ain't realized how hard it were gonna be to be my dupe. Yes...I knows that I tolds you that it were gonna be worths it as longs as she were by my sides...that were true...but it were gonna be hards as hells too. I were gonna haves to be this man...twenty four-seven...and that were gonna be enoughs to drives to insane. I were gonna haves to watch everything's that I saids...everything's that I dids..if this were gonna works. You is...Max Evan's...I saids to myselfs once more...takings a deep breathes...I begans to speak. "Thank you...Kyle...for taking care of Liz while I was...while I was...well...Thanks. You haves been there for her every step of the ways...and I just want to say thanks. But...I needs to talk to my princ...Liz alone. We have a lots to talk about...we have a lot of shit...I mean stuff to work through"

I just knowed that I hads fucked thats up...here were my first times speaking as my dupe...ands I fucked its up. I ain't even looks at my princess...I were afraids that if I dids that I were gonna see thats she knowed it weren't Max...that she knowed that it were an imposter...pretending to be's the man thats she loved...so I refused to looks at her...I just keeped looking at the punk in fronts of me. He locked his eyes on mines...when's I trieds to look aways...his eyes followed mines. I were beginning to gets nervous...it were likes he knowed too...were it that obvious to everyone's that I weren't who they thoughts I were...were it thats obvious that I were no Max Evan's...dids they knows that it were Zan...that were standin in fronts of their eyes...I ain't knows for sure...but the way that he were lookin at me...I were sure that I was abouts to finds out. "Just remember what I told you" he saids as he moved towards me...causing my hearts to stop beatings for a moments...as he whispered the one words that could ends my whole plans..."Zan...remember what I said to you...if you hurt her again...you will live to regret it" He tooks another looks at my princess..."Liz...do you want me to leave" he questioned her...nodding as he received a reply from her. "Remember what I said" and then he were gone...and I were lefts all alones with my princess.

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My heart was pounding so fast in my chest...that I just knew that it was going to explode at any second...as I watched Kyle pull himself from the ground...coming face to face with Max. He didn't say a word...didn't utter a sound...but something was wrong...something was different. I couldn't place it...but something was definitely different about him. I couldn't really explain it...it was like I knew that this wasn't Max...because it didn't feel like Max. See...I told you that it was hard to explain. I guess the easiest way to explain it is to say that...those sensations that I had experienced before with Zan...they were back...and this time they were back with a vengeance. I had never in all the years that I had know Max Evan's...experienced sensations like the ones that I experienced from Zan. But...how could it be that I was experiencing these sensations...how could it be that I could feel him all around me...that I could feel him inside of me...and yet it was Max standing across the room from me. No...something wasn't right about this and I was determined to find out what it was.

I didn't have long to wait...it turned out...as I listened to Kyle as he threatened to kill Max if he hurt me again...causing my heart to stop yet again...waiting for the blows that I was sure were going to come. I watched as a grin slowly appeared across his face as he heard those threatening words from Kyle...and then disappeared. My legs almost gave way...as I heard the words flow out of his mouth...words that I never thought I would hear from him..."Thank you...Kyle...for taking care of Liz while I was...while I was...well...Thanks. You haves been there for her every step of the ways...and I just wants to say thanks. But...I needs to talk to my princess...er...Liz alone" But...it was that one particular word that stood out from the rest...one particular word that caused my knees to go weak...caused my already frantiically beating heart to beat even faster. Sure there were other signs...other signs that should have told me from the start that this was not the Max Evan's that I had known for most of my life...but they weren't as obvious they last one. Your dying to know what those clues were...aren't you...ok...here goes. Clue number one...he entered my room through my bedroom door. Max...has only walked through that door once...and only once...at least that I can recall. He always used to enter my room through my window...it is something that he has always done...it is just so Max. Not enough...Second clue...when he spoke to Kyle...he pluralized words that didn't need to be. Try as he might...when Zan spoke...he murdered the English language. Max is a strait A student...who speaks better then most of the adults around here. Still...not convinced that this man standing across the room is Zan...well here is the most important clue of them all....Clue number three...one word...only one little word...and I knew that it was in fact Zan...not Max that was there in that room with is...when he was thanking Kyle...he called me princess. When Max and I were dating...we never had pet names for each other. From the first time that I had met Zan..he had called me his princess...and I had never thought to question him about it. It was something that was natural...a name that he chose specifically for me...it was a name that when I heard him use it...it caused chills to run up and down my spin. If your still not convinced that the man that is in this room with me and Kyle isn't Zan...then what more can I say to convince you...so then I won't even try. The only thing that mattered...was that I was convinced...I didn't know why he came back...I didn't know why he had changed his features to look like Max...and I didn't care...he was back...and I was more then determined to make sure that he stayed with me forever. Whatever it took...anything...we were never going to be apart again...I was going to make sure of that...but first I was going to have a little fun with him.

Liz...do you want me to leave" I heard Kyle ask me. Did I want him to leave....after all that I told him about how much I loved Zan...about how much I needed Zan...he had the nerve to ask me if I wanted him to leave. I knew that Kyle was only looking out for me...that he was only trying to make sure that I didn't get hurt again...but at that time...all I wanted to do was scream at the top of my lungs for him to leave...get the hell out of my room and leave me alone with Zan...but I held those words in...swallowed them down...and gave him the simplest of nods...besides...I didn't think that he would want to stay if he knew all the things that I planned to do to Zan that night.


Anger began to churn within me at the sight that I found before me. A sight that made absolutely no sense to me...and to tell you the truth...still doesn't make such sense to me. Yes...there was Liz across the room from the man that she loved...the man that she now gave her love to...the man that wasn't me...and yet at the same time...it was me...because as I looked through her window...I realized that the man that was standing across the room from her was not Zan...it was...me

Confused...so was I. Why the hell had Zan changed his appearance to look like me. He loved her...she loved him...I had seen the love that they shared for each other...it was easy to see...I had seen it in both their eyes. Where they just too stupid to realize this love for each other...or was this some sort of sick game that the two of them played...the lets fuck with Max game. I know that I should have left...should have let them play whatever game it was that they were playing...but it was like one of those times when you watch a really gory part of a horror movie...and you cover your eyes because you don't want to see the carnage...but at the same time you peek through those same fingers that are shielding your eyes...because you have to...you just have to see the gore. No...I couldn't leave...I had to stay...had to see what it was they were going to do next. Which turned out to be not much for the longest time...they both continued to stare at each other...neither one blinking...I knew why...I had felt like that before with Liz...they were afraid...afraid that if they were to close their eyes for the briefest of moments that the other would disappear before they opened their eyes.

A chuckle escaped me...as I watched the two just standing there....maybe Zan and I weren't so different after all. Why...because like me...whenever Liz was in the room...I found myself speechless most times. We had been in this same type of situation time and time again...and I actually for a minute...felt sorry for Zan. I knew that he wouldn't make the first move...he was in fact like me...it was Liz that broke the staring contest that they seemed to be having...Liz that placed her hand on his...my arm...Liz that ran her hand along his..my jaw line...Liz that pulled his...my face towards hers for a kiss...a kiss with his...my lips. I found that I wanted more then anything to be the one that was going to receive that kiss. I knew that my days of kissing Liz were up...but I wasn't willing or able to give them up just then. I didn't know what I thought I was going to accomplish...why I felt the need to do what I did...but I did it. in my mind I knew that it was over between the two of us...but my heart...that was a different story. So...I conjured up the image of Zan in my mind...and with a swipe of my hand...that was who I became.

Although I was Zan for such a short time...I had to admit that it was kind of freeing. Why...because as I became Zan...I felt like everything changed..not just my appearance...but my whole attitude. As Zan...I didn't have to be Mr. Perfect...didn't have to live up to anyone's expectations...didn't have to do anything that I didn't want to do. I had often heard the slogan...it is all about the attitude...never understanding what that meant...but now posing as Zan...I now had somewhat of an idea what that meant. Appearance had a lot to do with your attitude...with his...long spiky hair...tattoos and piercings...he intimidated people with just the sight of him. Hell...who wouldn't be intimidated if they met this guy on the street. It was like his piercings and tattoos...made a statement...told the world that he wasn't afraid of being different...and that he was someone that you didn't want to mess with. I never understood why people felt it necessary to pierce places on their body...it was just one of those things that just didn't make sense to me. But...as Zan...I had to admit that I liked it...I liked it a lot. It made me feel different...it made me feel dangerous...it made me feel un-max-like.

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It were like my lips hads a minds of their owns...as they moved closers and closers to hers. I couldn't stops them anymores...I ain't wants to stop thems anymore. Closer and closers we gots...we were justs inches aways froms our kiss...so close...and thens I caught something's out the corner of my eyes. At firsts I thoughts that I were seeing things...but as I pulled aways from our almosts kiss and puts my whole attentions towards what I saws...I knowed that I weren'ts seeing anythings...it were true...he were outs on her balcony...but he were differents...he were me.

"Whats the fuck" I growled...movings past my princess towards the image of myself. To say I were pissed were an understatements...I knowed why he were here...he were heres for her. I should haves known that he woulds have changed his mind...should have known that we woulds come backs for her...but...he had tolds me that he ain't wants her...and I just tooks it for granted thats what he meants....I should haves known. "You gots a lot of nerves to be here" I vehemently whispered as he cames in through her windows...stoppings inches from where I where. It were strange to be takin to myselfs. "You should talk" he saids back to me...standing theres in fronts of me. I ain't know whats to do...shoulds I beat his fuckin ass downs...or shoulds I just gives up and leaves...it were hims that she loved after alls. I hads decided that liked the ideas of beatin his ass down...I were tired of running...I were tired of everythings. I were gonna fights for her...try and makes her realize that I loved her...and if that meants that kickin my owns ass were how I hads to do it...then so be's it. "I is gonna kicks your fuckin ass..." I yelled...slamming my fists into his jaw...knocking hims backwards into the windows that he just climbed throughs. "you hads your fuckin chance...you blews it...you better gets the fuck outs..or I swears to you will lives to regret it"

"I just don't think that is going to happen" he yelled... pullings himselfs aways from the walls...slamming his fists aboves my eye. That were all it tooks...it were on...hell...I hads already beatin his ass twice tonight's...and I hads given hims to the chance to leaves...he mades his decision...and it were times to kick some ass. I lunged at hims..knocking hims to the floor. "STOP IT...MAX...ZAN....PLEASE STOP THIS" I heards her yells at us...but I ignored hers...I hads to teach this boy a lesson...a lessons that I were gonna enjoys. I felts strange hittings myself...I hads to keep telling myself that it were Max..that it were the mans that were trying to takes my princess aways from me. Yes...I hads beatin his ass earlier...but this times it were different...it were likes he were different...stronger. I were gettin tireds...I could tells he were too...but neither ones were gonna backs down. There were two much as stakes...my princess were at stakes...and I woulds fight as longs as I hads to. So...rounds and rounds we went...punch afters punch were delivered betweens the two of us...punches that had split lips...ripped open skin...there were blood everywhere. I hads a cuts above my eyes that were bleedings so bads that I couldn't really see where I were throwing them punches at. Somehows I had managed to gets off the floor...pulling myself...and my other selfs off the floor. I hads him by the collars of his shirt...this were its..this were gonna be's the last punch that ended this shit betweens us...so...I puts all that were lefts of my energy intos it. Throwings my fists forwards...I felts it comes in contact with its destination...I heards his grunts as it cames in contact with his face...but somethings were different...his grunts were different. I couldn't have sworn thats I had heard him screams....likes a girl...and then my hearts stopped...cause I ain't heard my princes screamin in the backgrounds anymores.

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I couldn't believe the sight that I was seeing before me. There was Zan...disguised as Max....and Max disguised as Zan...I didn't know what games there two were up to...but I sure as hell was going to find out. What ever little game that they were playing here was going to end...and it was going to end tonight. There was to much as stake...Zan was at stake. He had come back into my life...and even though it was as Max...I didn't care...all that mattered was that he was back...and nothing...not even the real Max was going to come in between us. "STOP IT...MAX...ZAN....PLEASE STOP THIS" I screamed...not really knowing how to stop the fighting that was getting continually worse as time went on. They were delivering punches with such force that I could actually hear skin ripping as their punches made contact with each other. Blood...it was everywhere. I had to stop this...had to end this...this had gone on long enough. I was afraid that if this continued at the rate that it was going...that either one of them could be seriously hurt...or much worse. Yes...I had to stop this...I didn't know how I was going to do this...as I made my way to where they were fighting I had to duck...as a punch coming from Max flew towards my face. I could feel the air as it whipped by my face...this just could not go on any longer. So..I did the stupidest thing that I have ever done in my life. I Grabbed Max by the shoulder and spun him around with all the strength that I had in me...pushing him away from Zan. I saw it...but there was no ducking from this punch...and before I knew what happened...I felt his fist come in contact with my face...saw the blood that landed on my shirt...and felt the floor as it came in contact with my backside.

"Princess...Liz" I heard them cry out in unison...both landing on each side of me as I tried to clear the fog that seemed to have formed around me. "Are you ok...let me heal that for you" I heard Max say...as I faced slowly faced him...coming face to face with that of Zan. "Keeps you hands off her...princess...are yous ok. I is sorry...I ain't mean to hits you...I ain't mean it" I turned away from Max to look at the man that was the one to delivery the blow that knocked me to the ground...coming face to face with that of Max. I tried to speak...but was never given the chance to utter a word as the began to exchange words again

"What do you mean that you didn't mean it...you almost killed her...are you fucking crazy"

"I saids get your fuckin hands offs her...befores I kill you"

"I'd like to see you try and kill me"

"My pleasures"

I didn't know who started it first...at the time it really didn't matter as I felt..first one..then the other body brush past me...leaving me there on the floor alone as the I tried to clear my head...tried to stop the blood that was flowing from my broken nose. I could hear them behind me...I could hear their words of hate...I could once again hear their punches as they made contact with their fists. If I was angry before...it was nothing to the anger that I felt welling up inside me. I was tired...fed up...and more then anything I was pissed. I had to end this...had to make sure that they didn't kill each other...and at the time...it actually seems like a good idea. I could let them beat themselves senseless...let them beat each other till they were both dead. But...as much as that idea appealed to me...I knew that I couldn't let this continue...I knew that I had to stop this once and for all. Pulling myself off the floor....I filled my lungs with as much air as I could...and then I let the words explode from my lips...accomplishing the task that it was intended for. "I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU BOTH...DO YOU HEAR ME...KNOCK THIS SHIT OFF......NOW. YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW...BUT I KNOW....CHANGE BACK NOW"

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"YOU...OVER THERE" she said pointing towards the chair behind me. "YOU...OVER THERE" she continued pointing from Zan to the bed. Neither Zan...nor myself...moved a muscle...blinked an eye...breathed...as she continued her rant. It didn't matter that I was laying on top of him...and that anyone who would have seen us that way...would have walked away shocked and shaking their head. She had cursed...she had cursed several times...in all the times that I had known Liz...I had ever only heard damn come out of her mouth...I knew that she was pissed...knew that she wasn't kidding as her rant continued. "I SAID CHANGE BACK....NOW" I looked at Zan and found that he was looking back at me...with the same look of confusion that I knew covered my face. "I WILL NOT FUCKING SAY THIS AGAIN...CHANGE BACK NOW" Pulling my self off of Zan...I changed back to myself...unable to look at her...I hung my head...and slowly I made my way to the chair that she had banished me to...developing a fascination with the carpet that covered her floor. "LIZ...OH MY GOD" his cries...snapped me out of my fascination with the carpet. I knew that Liz had received a direct blow...and I knew that it had to be bad...but it was worse then I had expected. "Princess...I didn't mean it...I am so sorry...please...let me heal it...please...princess"

"NO..." she screamed pushing his hand away from her face. "I TOLD YOU TO CHANGE BACK AND I MEAN NOW" I felt bad for the guy...here was the woman that he loved with two black eyes...and a broken nose...and all because of him...all because of him and me. Slowly...he waved his hand in front of him...changing back to the man that moments before I had been. He tried to speak again...only to be cut off as she pointed to the spot that she had told him to go and sit. Defeated...he walked over to the bed and sat down...not once taking his eyes off of her face. I could tell that it was killing him not to heal her...not to run to her and take the pain and hurt away...I knew because I wanted to run to her...wanted to heal her wounds...but the anger that covered her face stopped me. I had never seen Liz this angry...and I knew that she was far from done with us yet.